I Don't Have Time For Psychological Romance · Jan 27, 08:49 PM by Mike
The pregnant wife and I attended our childbirth and labor class yesterday, hoping for some reassurance that we can, in fact, do this. We also sought some knowledge on how the entire process would be going down, because prior to the class, we worried that we wouldn’t realize that labor had actually started, and I’d end up delivering the baby with tongs and tin snips.
As we’re parking the car, the pregnant wife said to me, “Did you put my phone on vibrate before you handed it to me?”
“Yes,” I answered. “You don’t want to be that girl.” While the Muppet Show theme is a cute ringtone for an expectant mother, it wasn’t something we needed to share with the other knocked up couples.
Less than an hour into the class, one woman’s phone went off, and she frantically dove into her purse to try to shut it off. Everyone tried to ignore it, and no mention of it was made by the instructor, but the woman was clearly embarrassed.
An hour or so later, another woman’s phone started ringing, and she too dug through her purse to try to shut the thing up. At this point, you would think everyone would take a moment to consider whether they’ve put their own phone on vibrate.
“Aren’t you glad I put your phone on vibrate,” I asked the pregnant wife.
“Yeah, I would have been mortified,” she replied.
Less than thirty seconds later, with timing so perfect that it makes me actually believe there is a God out there just to screw with me, “Boh, chick boh,” came out of my pocket. Cameo’s ‘Word Up’ is my current ringtone of choice, and for the life of me, I couldn’t find the silent button on the phone for what seemed like an hour, though thankfully it was before the bass line kicked in. Not that I’m embarrassed by enjoying the sounds of Cameo, for it is truly one of the best songs of all time…it’s what you might call a guilty pleasure. One that you play off as kind of a joke around others, but in your own mind you love the fucking shit out of that song.
I did set the phone to vibrate right then and there, and after the class have changed it to my Twilight Singers ringtone…at least until I get over the shame…or gather the courage to show my true love for Cameo.
